Thursday, August 5, 2010

The Selfishness of Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu

Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu, better known as Mother Teresa, spent her life giving to the poor, which by most people's standards means that she is selfless.  However, that is not the case.  Mother Teresa was selfish and often put herself before others.

Mother Teresa got her selfish start when she left the Catholic convent to live on the streets and help the poor.  How is that selfish?  Nuns take three vows; poverty, chastity, and obedience.  Nuns are to live in a convent.  By leaving the convent to live on the streets, Mother Teresa was not being obedient to the Catholic Church, but was instead being obedient to her own free will.  She went out, against the will of the church, to do what she wanted to do, not what the church wanted.

That one act cannot possibly prove that someone as giving as Mother Teresa was selfish her whole life, can it?  Of course not.  However, the whole of Mother Teresa's philosophy was selfish.  She believed that poverty would bring people closer to Jesus, and she said, "Poverty is a wonderful gift because it gives us freedom."  Therefore, since her life goal was to be closer to Jesus, and to be poor and destitute, she was being selfish in pursuing those desires.  Remember, if she wants to be poor, then giving up her possessions is an act of selfishness.  If she wants to give herself to the poor, then that is an act of selfishness.  If she gives to the poor but doesn't want to, then that would be selfless.

Her selfishness does not stop there.  You know who Mother Teresa is.  I know who Mother Teresa is.  Most people have at least heard of her.  For someone portrayed as selfless, she sure is famous.  Only somebody who feels proud of themself would accept any fame, notoriety, or gratitude.  In 1979, Mother Teresa accepted the Nobel Peace Prize.  She donated the money to the poor, but she accepted the award.  I'm not saying she didn't earn it; she certainly worked harder to earn it than Al Gore or Barack Obama.  If she were truly working for God and others, she would not have accepted any award, but her life is full of awards.  Obviously she was proud of the work she was doing, she was proud of herself.  Being proud is one of the most selfish feelings a person can experience.

Mother Teresa's religious experience also proves how selfish she was.  Throughout her life she struggled with her faith.  Of her faith she said, "Where is my faith? Even deep down ... there is nothing but emptiness and darkness ... If there be God—please forgive me. When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven, there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my very soul ... How painful is this unknown pain—I have no Faith."  She has always claimed to be doing God's work, but if she doubted God so much, what possessed her to follow through with her work?  Her desire to help the poor did not come from God, it came from her.  She wanted to help the poor, so she did.

People who embrace religion often embrace death without knowing it.  Most religions teach that all your rewards will be given to you in the afterlife, after you die.  By looking forward to heaven, you are looking forward to death.  If you are selfless, the greatest expression of having no self, is to be dead.  To be alive is selfish.  In the late years of her life, Mother Teresa was sickly.  During this time she chose to be treated in a state-of-the-art hospital in California, rather than one of her own clinics.  If she did not care about herself at all, she would not demand the best care possible.  However, she is selfish and did demand the best care possible, because she loved life.  Were she truly religious, she would look forward to death, especially after such a long life in the service of God.  Instead, we can see that her faith did not guide her, instead, her own will guided her through life.

Being selfish is a good thing.  I am not trying to degrade somebody who spent their life on their own terms, I am merely trying to make the distinction:  Mother Teresa was not an altruist helping the poor, Mother Teresa was a selfish person who made it her life goal to bring care to the poor.

© 2010 Nate Phillipps

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